Oh,King of Diamonds, the adult entertainment megaplex complete with barbershop, basketball court, and, of course, mountains upon mountains ofb-b-booty....We here at Crossde love KOD more than anyone else in America.
Except, of course, acclaimed international pop-rap superstarLil Wayne, whose frequent and decadent jaunts to South Floridas contemporary urban Gomorrah are the stuff of legend.
Anyway, as reported by TMZ,everybody was at King of Diamonds a few nights ago to watch Wayne officiate a boxing match between strippersand the footage deserves nothing less than an extremely detailed breakdown.
0:00-0:01
TMZ has a great logo. We love the way the animationliterallymakes itpop. In these disorienting, economically strained times, its nice to have something to believe in.
0:01-0:07
Our story beginsen media reswith (an ostensibly sober) Weezy surrounded by ten-million goons and a particularly attentive shawty to his right. For a minute-plus clip of strippers fighting, this film was edited bylil wayne a genius! What are they watching? What is the shawty pointing at? Can anyone hear Lil Waynes commentary? Nothing saysart houselike watching people watching.
0:07-0:11
And then after properly stoking our anticipation, TMZ goes deep with some crucial footage of a stripper in purple booty shorts wailing on another (seemingly doomed) stripper (who BTW is wearing black booty shorts). The not-seen-on-camera announcer is OH! OH! OHHHH!-ing like hes giving birth, perfectly articulating each and every blow Ms. Purple lands on Ms. Black.
0:12-0:34
But enough about boxing strippers ... Lets back to our hero andmaybe-potentially-but-probably-not The Best Rapper Alive, Weezy F. Baby.
Wayne tries to say something into the mike. But, uh, its not working. So he hands it to a lackey who, uh, tries to say something into the mic. But its still not working! Question: Why wouldsomeone else using itfix it? We imagine Waynes day is packed, from sun up to down, with Somebody fix this! hand-offs. Dude has no idea how works! Maybe he should watch that show,How Shit Works, or whatever its called.
0:35-0:40
Alright, mikes working. And Waynes got something to say, presumably on the subject of gentlemans club performers bludgeoning each other with fists of rage.
0:41-1:07
Lil Wayne makes a bunch of noises that sure do sound like words. But, uh, really dont make any ing sense. For a change.
1:08-1:11
Pay attention to Weezys interaction with his shawty when he tries to get her to hand him the money. Crossde must express supreme gratitude to the Universe for allowing us to be part of an age in human civilization where confused psychoual idiocy can be forever preserved on the YouTubes.
1:12-1:20
It may look like Wayne is rcically counting the stack before him. But, no, hereally is counting it. Dude hangs out at the bank so much he picked up a trick or two. And, yknow, it aint trickin if you got it.
1:25-1:35
Rapper and stripper nonchalantly exchange ziplock bag filled with cash. The MC desperately tries to keep the night going by inviting anyone from the audience to square off against a stripper. Or maybe another audience member. Or perhaps the lesser of Weezys expansive entourage. Either way, his desperate Anybody? is met with total silence.
1:36
When future civilizations teach about the United States empire, theyll point to TMZ as the ultimate marker of our decadent decline.
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Wayne cannot freestyle an if u knew Wayne good u would know that he freestyles wit words he done already put n one of his songs. Freestyle is rapping off the top of the head. Not saying something that was said n a song. I like Wayne but he cnt freestyle.
You did a real good thing Brother. Were they African American Women? Man, your name will go down in the History of Game. But rememer from the Old School? No thats to old school for you Bro. But keep in mind from an OG, "If you play the Game you have to stand the shame."Trust me, youll see it again. Somewhere, sometime.
I have an inflatable pool and some bottles of oil for bett & anomaly to fight. Get your bikinis on, ladies!
FIRST OF ALL KIKI IS NOT A STRIPPER SHE IS A BOXER AT A LOCAL GYM IN MIAMI. SECOND OF ALL. WHO REALLY CARES WHAT TUNCHI SPENDS HIS MONEY ON. IF HE WANTS TO HAND SOMEONE A STACK CAUSE THEY ENTERTAINED HIM WELL GO AHEAD, CAUSE WE HAND HIM MILLIONS TO ENTERTAIN US.
Really?! TMZ is "the ultimate marker of our decadent decline"? Thats like saying all men are douchebags and all women are $ grubbing hoes based on some of the "wonderful" people here in Miami.
Lil Wayne goes hard so does YM. Lil wayne is the best freestyle rapper. Nobody aint got on wayne
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